Journal 3831

Over the weekend I watched the film 1000 Journals, by Andrea Kreuzhage. About 15 minutes into the film I found myself somewhat restored from what one could describe as a beyond hellish week. Literally, it may have been about 15 minutes in that I was overcome with inspiration, passion and drive that I decided on starting a traveling journal of my own.

The idea of 1000 Journals is pure genius, I cannot even describe the roller-coaster of emotions that I felt while watching the film based on the project of the same name.

Being the true Facebooker that I am, I extended the project to my own friends, real people who have personally touched my life.

I feel that this journal, my journal, journal #3831 will change people's lives. Though that's certainly not my goal by any means, I just want to offer my friends an opportunity to step outside of their safety zones. I want to them to explore their creative sides, to find the beauty in simplicity, to create and recreate, and to simply just do. Doing something, anything...is better than a blank white page. It's progress, a statement, a defiant middle finger to stasis and routine. I want them to leave their mark, on the page and in the world. More often than not we as individuals stay silent, avoid change and glide along with our mundane lives because we're too lazy or unmotivated to create change.

Journal #3831 will be my awakening, as an individual and as a writer. I too, have needed something to turn my world inside out and this project has come along for a reason, this reason. I hope it will help my friends and their friends (and quite possibly some strangers) to understand and appreciate the concept that any contribution is meaningful. A collaborative effort is needed in order for this to really get anywhere and I'm so flattered by all of the feedback, emails, comments and messages I've received for this 3831 project.

With my sincerest apologies, I have to admit that I've been a little under the weather and so this journal has not yet been started. I do plan on stopping in my nearest Blick Studio to pick up a journal and promise that by Monday, August 31st, the first recipient will be notified that 3831 is en route.

I've also just decided on what my contribution will be to 3831 and can't think of a more perfect time and place to share it. I'm beyond excited, really.

My biggest fear, my only fear, is that 3831 will be lost, stolen or forgotten about. Although I control the mailing list and ultimately its location, I cannot always track it. Participants have one week to keep it to themselves and in this week they can share it with a loved one, a friend, a coworker, whomever - it's all a part of the spirit of the 1000 journals project so who am I to argue? As much as it scares me, it's how it has to happen, and it's time I learn to have a little faith.

Bulletproof

If I could share with you just how crappy this week is going by way of an immature and silly photo response, it'd be this (below), classy, I know.

On the upside, I've been having a beyond-fantastic music week. There's a song that's been on repeat literally all day today and the more and more I listen to the words, the more I'm convinced it was written specifically for me. It's been a really long time since I've really connected with a song, its lyrics, its beats, its essence in total. But I'll stop talking about it and let you listen, enjoy.

Anyhow, I much prefer the Nacey remix of it as opposed to the original version, there's something hauntingly beautiful about it and all it makes me want to do is write, which I've promised myself I'd make time for tonight.

And lastly, the lyrics alone both disturb me yet make me feel like I'm right at home. It's certainly not complex and thoughtfully written, but rather it's simple and to the goddamn point. Because sometimes, you just need to cut out the bullshit.

"Bulletproof" by La Roux

Been there, done that, messed around
I'm having fun don't put me down,
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet,
I won't let you in again, the messages I've tried to send,
my informations' just not going in,
burnin' bridges shore to shore, I'll break away from something more,
I'm not to not to love until it's cheap,
been there, done that, messed around,
I'm having fun don't put me down,
I'll never let you sweep me off my feet,

Chorus:
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof

I won't let you turn around,
and tell me now I'm much too proud,
to walk away from something when it's dead,
do do do your dirty words come out to play when you are heard?,
there's certain things that should be left unsaid,
tick tick tick on the watch and life's too short for me to stop,
Oh baby, your time is running out,
I won't let you turn around,
and tell me now I'm much too proud,
All you do is fill me up with doubt,

Chorus:
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof

Bridge

Chorus:
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby I'll be bulletproof
This time baby, this time baby
This time baby, this time
This time baby, this time baby
This time baby, this time.

The Happy List

• I switch purses rather frequently, maybe 3 times a week and all three times this week I found random stashes of cash in all of my clutches.
  

• "When you move out, you're going to need practically everything." My friend told me this recently, she moved out months ago was preparing me for when I move out. Slowly but surely I've been furnishing my non-existent apartment, it might even be a smart idea to get storage space so I don't have to clutter all my finds at home. There are two important pieces I'm going to be very careful selecting, my bookshelf and my desk. Both of these items are more important than a bed and must thoughtfully be chosen. My book collection is probably my most prized possession, it grows every week and holds significant memories and sentiments. My writing desk will be in my bedroom since I've decided that I don't want to have a tv in there. Plus there are so many things I need for my desk, but don't even get me started. All I really need are my books. And hello major tangent! It's wonderful to discover your taste and style through furnishing your own place. Surprisingly enough, I've picked up a lot of African and Mexican pieces and cannot wait to see what it will look like once I'm finished. The goal is to apartment shop in November with my eager and willing sisters accompanying me and sign a lease by December. I can't wait!

• I bought a ticket to NYC for next month. I'm tired of saying I want to do all these things and watch as time passes me by. I'm young and healthy, there's no time like now and I refuse to keep making excuses for myself. Albeit bad timing what with having to save for an apartment and all, I figured this would be my second to last big expense. Yes, I rationalize with myself.

• The last big ticket item on the list before I go hardcore frugal is....my MacBook Pro which I'm buying next month too. I was torn forever between an iMac and the MacBook but ultimately decided right now I am needing portability. I still do plan on also getting an iMac eventually, maybe in the distant future.

• My UIC student ID doesn't expire until December 2010, I don't know how that happened but I'm totally going to holler at that student discount @ the Apple store. If that doesn't work, I can use a "teacher discount" for working at a performing arts academy, so no complaints here.
  

• Shu Uemura eyelash curlers.

• OPI's Fall 2009 Espana collection, of which I have already picked up 2 bottles. (Give Me Moor! and Manicurist of Seville).

• Training began this morning, I don't really need to train for the Hot Chocolate Run in November, I'm just trying to incorporate more cardio into my daily routine. It feels good to be running outside again.

• Aloha Eats is a wonderful restaurant that surprisingly, was more down to earth than I imagined. Highly, highly recommend the Spam Musubi.

• My next tattoo I think might be my favorite, it's two lines of poetry for which I've already selected the script for. It's my second to last ink and I'm not sure if I'm more nervous or excited about getting this one. It's by far the biggest tattoo I'll have done but again, I'm deciding on how big the font should be, I keep going back and forth with it.