Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Can I substitute Yelp for friends?

True story: I was on the phone with my boyfriend tonight having our usual run-down of our days discussion and jokingly, I posed the question in this entry's subject line.

Once I said it out loud I knew that I half-meant it, then wondered what it'd be like to slowly replace my friends with restaurant and business reviews. No, I'm not serious. Okay, crazy - yes and perhaps fed up and obviously this is not a likely or desired solution or scenario, but hey...Yelp won't ever let me down.

Yelp won't disappoint me, hurt my feelings, judge me, blow me off or change into a whole 'nother website before my eyes. Stupid comparison.

Okay back to the real matter at hand. I'm not going to lie, I've been a little distant with some people - not to avoid them per se, but I guess just to gather my thoughts and re-evaluate these friendships in the long run.

What is it with some people? Everyday I'm more and more aware that I'm constantly annoyed with a pretty decent amount of people in my life. Is it my fault for keeping them around or am I at fault for not saying anything to begin with? I bite my tongue because I feel like some of my issues with them are petty and I'm positive they'll overreact and be too defensive to understand my point of view, so my qualms feel even more unwarranted than ever. Unfortunately, the maturity gap between them and myself is ever-growing. And this is no one's fault by any means, but it is a fact of life.

Change is good, I wholly embrace it. But when change happens to the people closest to you, you can't help but want to ignore it. Or rationalize that it's just a phase. And then question the hell out of it. In watching them change before you, does this then, in turn, change you (for the worse)? Or are you the one with the problem, are you the static character in a novel of a dozen dynamic characters?

At the end of the day my issues with said annoying friend(s) comes down to either 1 of 2 (or both) things, and it's not a shocker though as both points bring out the worst in everyone:
1) materialism
2) popularity contests

I'm 24. I'm at the point where I just want to scream, "Shut up, no one cares!" at the top of my lungs. No, I don't want to hear about your non-problem problems and/or Facebook dilemmas. I don't want to hear why you're forced to do A because you never deemed B, C, D or E an option. No one is controlling you, there are no strings, no marionettes on a stage, don't act like you need to blame every other person in the world for your mistakes and shortcomings.

So again, I ask, can I substitute Yelp for friends?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

That's Not My Name

It was around midnight on Saturday or Sunday morning rather and in a relaxed yet slightly intoxicated stupor, I made my way out of the Violet Hour with my sister, her husband and my boyfriend. Upon walking out and dodging the throng of people waiting to get in I hear inquisitive whispers that include my name and then finally...."Tasha?!"

I ignore it at first, as I usually like to dodge people I know. Plus, if you have to be whispering about me before calling my name out in public why would I bother saying hello? By this point, my name was called about 3 or 4 times, louder and louder and so I stop and turn around to confront the bumbling idiot calling my name. I saw some familiar faces from high school. Can't a girl get a break on her birthday?

I hate running into people from high school and I'll openly admit it. I have the most awkward conversations and interactions with them. So what, we went to school together for some odd years, we really don't have to talk now.

I'm not putting anyone down by any means, I'm really good friends with a lot of peers from my high school, we talk, exchange hello's via Facebook and so forth, I respect a great deal of them but these are also certain people I've continuously maintained friendships with.

Here's what's really annoying about that night. When I stopped and faced them after calling my name out a multitude of times, they stared blankly at me. Maybe you should consider being prepared with a response, or follow up, perhaps "Hey, how are you?" But no, nothing. They started at me and I stared at them. I walked away of course, are you kidding me? What was the point in all of it, to announce to the public that you knew someone?

I keep my life and the people in it very separate from almost all of the people in my past. Now of course, there are a handful of great friendships I took along with me but for the most part I've found out that time and time again a good amount of these people don't change. It feels wrong to group them per se, but high school is so far away, I can barely remember it. I just feel so awkward when I do run into them because we run out of things to say after the "What'd you do after graduation?" conversation.

If you're going to call my name out five damn times in public say something after you've got my attention. Actually, don't waste your breath because 9 times out of 10 I'll walk on pretending I don't hear you.